now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize