why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We need to get me chipped asap
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