My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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