I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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