I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
