I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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