Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I am naked and annoyed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
