Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
