If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
