let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
