This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
