After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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