You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
