When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
