Your tits are I can't wait for
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
