Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
