do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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