I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i believe in u and ur pee
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