Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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