So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
