i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
