We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize