thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
