Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize