I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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