In the future we'll all be gay
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
