Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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