Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
