while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
