? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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