she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
