Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
