you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
