The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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