Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
