What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
