I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
