it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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