Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
