Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
