is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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