There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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