vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There are leaves in my underwear?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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