So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
