Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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