You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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