I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
