I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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