I smell stomach acid.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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