New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
