yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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