It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
