well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
