party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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