remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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