dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
this boner is exhausting
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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