You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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