Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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