I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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