I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
