he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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