I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
