is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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