Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
