I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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