I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
